Independence
Posted by LMReviewsJul 26
Welcome back!
I’ve mentioned before that I relish my independence. It may have to do with the fact that I am quiet, observant and guarded. Many associate these traits as weak or timid. I think it has more to do with my discomfort with vulnerability and maybe I just haven’t met that one person who you always want to be around.
It seemed to me there was a time in society where people valued independence. They enjoyed making a way for themselves. Lately, it seems, many people don’t like to be alone at all. They move from their parents’ house to a living space with friends or their significant other of the moment. I’ve even heard of people having children to prevent themselves from a lonely existence. I mentioned to a friend with social phobias that I overcame feeling awkward in public by eating out alone or going to the movies alone. Another friend cringed stating that he didn’t want to be considered “a loser.” I think having all your experiences wrapped up in who is with you is very limiting. You’ll never know who you’ll meet or what experienced you could have when you’re alone. It gives you the opportunity to witness what’s around you because you’re not so caught up in who you’re with.
Sometimes I can understand why one would avoid being alone. I know that feeling of unimportance or invisibility because there’s no one depending on you or looking forward to you coming home. I’m often reminded by those in relationships or those who are still close to their parents’ nest, that my existence must be less than because I’m not responsible to anyone but myself and no one relies on me.
Now those who live alone are a source of curiosity for others. This strong desire to couple up or group up regarding a living space could simply be a means to save as economic security is still uncertain for many. Or it could be the avoidance of truly getting to know the most important person in our lives; ourselves.
As a matter of fact, those who don’t live with others are often viewed as selfish because there’s no compromise or sharing of decisions and control. But I think they may be the most strong, because there’s no one else to blame or rely on for your troubles or your failures. You are the architect and the construction worker of your own life both in public and in private.
Shear independence may not be for everyone but I think that everyone should try it just once. It makes the times you share with others more valuable and it causes you to really be responsible for your choices, because if your life isn’t how you’d like it or how you imagined it, the only person preventing change is you.
Very well said Laura. We should be individuals first. A person should be known as themselves, not someones spouce, parent or by what we do for a living. Our socity seems to place some occupations in higher esteem than others. Movie stars, recording artists, religious leaders, people who make extreemly large sums of money and elected officials appear to get perferred treatment in most cases. They also get a lot of unwanted attention and loss of privacy. I guess it’s a trade off. It’s what we accept and expect, Just like being alone. look at the number of stories and movies of one person trying to fix a single person up with another single person. They look at it as helping, others believe they’re not. We hear of stories of spouse or child abuse, one spouse cheating on the other and sometimes even leading to murder. There are some who really do need someone in there life and there are those who don’t. I think that each person should decide when its’ time to either be alone or be with someone or group of people. I am married and I do love my wife, but she doesn’t define who I am or I her. We had our own idenities before we married and we still have them. Our independence as well as our idenities are very important. We must work to ensure we keep it for as long as we can. One example is an injury that leads to loss of mobility. That injury can lead to loss of emotional and physical independence. The greatest loss is personal. that is one we must guard against losing.
G W Pickle
I like this. Especially the part where you say that individualists are often seen as selfish. This is completely true. But the trouble is, that our society by its very nature, is a selfish society. By expressing a need to explore your inner self and not be pressured to conform to a family life, or even a relationship, you are pigeonholed as being ‘selfish’ when most of society is self-obsessed anyway! Ah the ironies of life.
What it really means is that you have the foresight and the guts to look at a bigger picture than most people are seeing. Anyone who dares to strike out on their own usually, but not always, comes under heavy fire….but the heavy fire can make the ride a little more intense.