Do You Deb?
By LMReviews on Oct 5, 2008 in Multicultural Events, Multicultural History
When thinking about “coming out” parties marking a child’s transition to adulthood, events like cotillions, Quinceañera , Bat Mitzvahs and debutante balls come to mind. I suppose I have heard of events for young black girls in the south, but I don’t specifically recall. However, in seeing a re-enactment of a cotillion for black girls in a movie, a strong curiosity was born. Needless to say I didn’t have one when I came of age, unless getting my first job counts, I was 15 so maybe that’s the working class’ coming out party.
A little reading revealed what I already suspected. Unlike Quinceañeras and Bat Mitzvahs that are religiously linked and have little relation to the social standing or lineage of the little girl or boy who’s about to enter adulthood, debutante balls and cotillions are all about networking and affluent social bonds. Originating in the Middle East’s Babylon, debutante balls were social announcement that the girls being honored were ready for marriage. As a result, these events take much preparation. Whether it’s a girl’s cotillion or debutante ball or a boy’s beautillion, etiquette and dance classes are required. The attire calls for tuxes, ball gowns and up-dos. As what seems to be common among parts of the world, we take things that interest us and adapt them to our own needs. As a result, cotillions and debutante balls migrated to the Northeast, then hitting the southern belles before finally landing out West. During that flight, these events no longer stayed among the white elite as exclusion on the grounds of race and new versus old money were common.
As a result of the classist influence, these events became less about celebrating the transformation of children but more of a social popularity contest as debutante committees formed and more were required of young girls to participate than charity work, good grades or the attainment of a certain age. Often a girl’s induction has everything to do with members of her family tree and the monetary value of her lineage.
These segregated events were another example of how society really lives. We may work in diverse environments and proclaim a few friends of another culture group, but when it came to social climbing we still focused on own. Only over the last few years have we begun to read about debutantes crossing the color lines and non-people of color choosing to go to historically black colleges and universities. It’s refreshing to see this societal mixing occurring in situations where there’s no direct following of the money trail as we often see when the majority embraces something that was uniquely minority-driven.
Great post. I’ve actually attended many coming out parties, did not have one of my own. At the time I did not want one. I was going to have my girls join a cotillion group but we couldn’t squeeze it in with everything else they do. My niece this summer had her Quinceañeras, so now my girls 14 and 13 want their own ‘Sweet 16′ I’ve talked to a couple of their friends parents and apparently they are not alone, so we’ll see.
Isis
Thank you so much for sharing Isis. This really fascinates me. I may have to pick your brain a little more if I decide to add this element to a future book!