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The idea of a culture that over-indulges is not a new concept, but it recently dawned on me the numerous ways excess exhibits itself. We are use to the idea of excess in terms of addiction. For example, addictive behaviors are associated with excessive behavior in one area or another such as excessive eating, drinking or drugs. However, think about the
other areas where we do something to excess. What brought this topic about for me has to do with my music habits.

One of my freelance gigs requires that I write in an office setting. So, in order to block out the office chatter, I listen to music through ear buds while I work. Here’s where my excess comes into play. I listen to Internet radio (Shout out to all my Slacker Radio Fans) which allows me to create my own channels with my favorite artists. (I promise this
isn’t a plug). While all the artists I am listening to are my favorites, I like some songs better than others. So of course, when a favorite song comes on, I jeopardize my hearing by bumping the volume louder in my ear buds. When a less enjoyable song comes on, I dial down the volume to a more sensible level. The same thing happens in my car. I listen to mix CDs and crank up my most favorite songs.

This exemplifies just how far excess reaches. Why does it seem like I enjoy my favorite songs more when they are cranked up to eardrum vibrating decibels? It’s not the same as those drivers who roll down the window and pump up the sound system to share their favorite tunes with everyone who’s in earshot on the street. It’s my own little world, where only my favorite songs are my soundtrack and my only focus is my writing. It also funny how I find office chatter distracting but the vocals to these songs never seem to disrupt my concentration or my creative process.

Unlike food or drink that allows us to get those feel-good endorphins every time we eat or drink it, no matter how much I crank up that song it’s still going to last the same amount of time based on the recording time. Nevertheless, I crank it up, tap my feet and bounce my head as I work.

Next time you think about your excesses, think about all the ways you over-indulge that have nothing to do with the traditional targets of over-consumption. You just may discover something about your own
individual or personal work culture you’ve never thought about.

I’ve mentioned before that I am a little magazine obsessed. I love books too, but there is just something about a good magazine that I just love. When I want to get a quick info fix filled with interesting insights, pictures, and stats, a magazine really satisfies. ( Yes, like a Snickers bar).

The subject of this post was spurred by a small magazine filler from this month’s issue of Women’s Health magazine. The filler is entitled, “Pretty Words” reminds us that words are not just words.

According to the article which sites a study in the journal Psychological Science where study participants were hooked up to a machine to measure the activity of the facial muscles we use when we smile or frown. The participants facial reactions were recorded when they were asked to read a series of emotion verbs such as frown, cry, laugh etc. The result was that happy verbs caused a response in the subjects’ smile muscles while the sad ones activated the frown muscles’ response.

As writers and those who love to read already know, language does physically resonate with us and it makes an impression on how we feel, according to the study’s coauthor G. Sermin, Ph.D., of Utrecht University in the Netherlands.

As I think of the ways that we use words to elicit a response or to provoke action in others, for example, greeting cards, research studies, wedding invitations, letters of complaint, and too many other forms of word communication that too many to mention, it definitely weakens the idea that words are harmless. Words can console and they can also start arguments and even wars. It’s our words and our thoughts that lead to our positive or negative actions.

Words trigger memories and they lend to a variety of interpretations and connotations. How words are used and interpreted go far beyond the words meaning. Our own culture and environment also play a role. Put in this context, words do indeed become very powerful.

The next time you speak or write, know the power of your words.

I’ve mentioned before that I relish my independence. It may have to do with the fact that I am quiet, observant and guarded. Many associate these traits as weak or timid. I think it has more to do with my discomfort with vulnerability and maybe I just haven’t met that one person who you always want to be around.

It seemed to me there was a time in society where people valued independence. They enjoyed making a way for themselves. Lately, it seems, many people don’t like to be alone at all. They move from their parents’ house to a living space with friends or their significant other of the moment. I’ve even heard of people having children to prevent themselves from a lonely existence. I mentioned to a friend with social phobias that I overcame feeling awkward in public by eating out alone or going to the movies alone. Another friend cringed stating that he didn’t want to be considered “a loser.” I think having all your experiences wrapped up in who is with you is very limiting. You’ll never know who you’ll meet or what experienced you could have when you’re alone. It gives you the opportunity to witness what’s around you because you’re not so caught up in who you’re with.

Sometimes I can understand why one would avoid being alone. I know that feeling of unimportance or invisibility because there’s no one depending on you or looking forward to you coming home. I’m often reminded by those in relationships or those who are still close to their parents’ nest, that my existence must be less than because I’m not responsible to anyone but myself and no one relies on me.

Now those who live alone are a source of curiosity for others. This strong desire to couple up or group up regarding a living space could simply be a means to save as economic security is still uncertain for many. Or it could be the avoidance of truly getting to know the most important person in our lives; ourselves.

As a matter of fact, those who don’t live with others are often viewed as selfish because there’s no compromise or sharing of decisions and control. But I think they may be the most strong, because there’s no one else to blame or rely on for your troubles or your failures. You are the architect and the construction worker of your own life both in public and in private.

Shear independence may not be for everyone but I think that everyone should try it just once. It makes the times you share with others more valuable and it causes you to really be responsible for your choices, because if your life isn’t how you’d like it or how you imagined it, the only person preventing change is you.

I’m not sure what memory has to do with culture other than what we choose to remember and what memories we choose to keep says a lot about who we are. Just like the clothes we wear or the mindsets we keep, culture has is complex and multifaceted.

Lately, I was thinking about how we learn. Some of us learn through repetition. Others can read something once and remember what they read forever.

Growing up I was in a part of a group called Missionettes. It was like religious girl scouts. A girls program sponsored by the Assemblies of God church.

We memorized Bible scripture, mission statements and tenants. I remember when one of the steps which was based on four women of the Bible (Susanna, Tabitha, Anna and Ruth) required me to memorize the entire chapter of 1st Corinthians 13.

I learned during my two years in that program that I took to memorization visually. I would write out every verse of that chapter and repeat it outloud erasing words at different intervals. Until I was looking at a paper with nothing but dashes where words use to be. Eventually,  I could recite the entire chapter which consisted of 13 verses without the paper because I could visualize it in my head.

I’m not sure what I learned about love the basis of 1Corinthians 13 but I did learn a lot about the process of learning. While I couldn’t recite the chapter now, whenever mentions words from it without referencing the orign, I always recognize it.

Whether you have a photographic memory or remember through repetition, what does the culture of memory and learning mean to you?

An experience I had while in New York in April made me think of the irony of adulthood and class.

For myself, I thrive on my independence. Most things I would rather do myself. The some members of poorest of classes often find it difficult to accept help or charity. I don’t know how many rags to riches stories I’ve heard where the person making that leap talks about how hard they struggled and no matter how difficult it got, he or she never accepted government assistance.

I’ve heard this several of times from men with siblings who were raised by a single parent. They are awe-struck with how a single parent with little or no education managed to raise multiple children without seeking welfare or other forms of government assistance. It speaks of that ability make your own way and work hard to make things better.

The irony showed itself to me when I was at a high-class Italian restaurant. Every little thing was done for me. Even my napkin was placed on my lap and intricate details of the menu were explained. If any of the waite staff noticed my attempt at getting up they rushed over to pull out my chair and refolded my napkin in my absence.

I find it interesting that those who start with nothing work hard to be able to do things for themselves…provide an existence for themselves. While those with the means, seek to have others do things for them. It may have something to do with the work required to attain that status, but those of us not quite there yet, look for money to provide us the opportunity to do more…not less.

Which option is best probably depends on preference. If you’ve worked hard for a real long time you would enjoy others taking care of you, but if you have never taken care of yourself, having others do it conjures up feelings of helplessness rather than accomplishment.

It goes to show most things require the context in which it occurs before a fair analysis can take place.

If you had the means, would you pay someone to tend to your every need or would you still actively participate in the running of your life?

I don’t know how many other people can say this, but throughout my life, I have always encountered people with the same first name as me. I recognize that my first name isn’t unusual, but I have often found myself in a work environment or a classroom with another Laura. If you include all the Lori’s, Laurie’s, and Lauren’s I’ve encountered then the coincidence grows even larger. Of course, Lori, Laurie, and Lauren aren’t the same as Laura, but when people first meet me they always want to call me one of the others instead of just Laura. I’ve never understood that. I say my name rather clearly.

I have found it interesting during the second leg of my recent trip which took me to Pennsylvania and then after my return that I kept running into other “Laura’s”. First of all, the friend I was going to visit, her name is Laura. Obviously, I knew this going in, but we have grown so close that we tend to forget that we carry the same first name. Maybe it is because we don’t have to call each other by name when we converse. We just start talking instinctually taking turns and knowing when the other is finished. We went out to dinner and we each gave the waitress a credit card and instructions. When the waitress came back, she indicated that the instructions were easy but the difficulty came in that we shared the same first name. She was joking, but it became clear to me that in our friendship that little detail no longer came into play. It’s funny, because when her husband called her by name, I knew he wasn’t talking to me and when we use to work together the same was true. When someone would ask Laura a question, based on the question being asked, I knew they weren’t talking to me because we had different levels of expertise.

On the outside, we couldn’t be more different. I am black and she is white. I am petite and she is tall. I am even a few years older than she is, but in other areas we are so similar it is a little scary. We have nearly identical political views and interests. We have the same questions regarding human nature and we are both creative. While our passions have taken us on different journeys, we are both very ambitious.

When I arrived home, I quickly had to complete some paperwork for a project and have them notarized. When I walked into a local bank, something I rarely do, the notary was also named Laura. It got me to thinking about names and if they have any influence on the type of people we become. Certainly people with unique names turn out to be equally unique in nature and people with popular names are constantly trying to stand out among the rest. These examples may have more to do with how we interact with our environment as we carry our names that the result of the name itself.

Think about your name and the impact it has had in your life. Also consider the names you encounter, it may not be as varied or as random as you think.

I’ve always been struck by people’s names. It may have to do with the fact that people are often struck by mine. I don’t know how many times I’ve been told that ‘Laura Major’ is a cool sounding name. It could be because there is the same number of letters in my first name as there is in my last. Or maybe it’s because the word ‘major’ conjures up feelings of importance. I suppose that’s crucial to a good name.

Several months into my full-time freelance career, I finally decided to seek out affordable health insurance. (Off topic, it can be done. I’ll save that for another post.)  The salesman kept commenting on my name.  Whether he was sincere or not, I’m sure he figured it couldn’t hurt his sales pitch. Lucky for him, I’ve heard it before and not always in a sales situation. He kept going on and on about how “cool” it sounded. Without missing a beat, I replied, “Yeah? Try living up to it.”  I hadn’t expected I would say that but I realized that I have been living up to my name in some ways. I do remember my father proudly saying, “You’re a Major…” and to me that implied that it was expected that I would succeed and do my best. I’m sure I took it too literally, maybe all he meant was in whatever you do, your reputation is at stake. Generations not that long ago, your name and your reputation were the same thing. The whole family could be tarnished or honored based on what the individuals carrying that name did. I never worried about embarrassing or disappointing the Major family, worrying about how my actions would reflect on me was enough.

Recognize that your name represents you. It may be all someone has to determine value, that is why regardless of what you do or what field you’re in, your name is your brand. Be sure to define it well and define it for yourself.

As part of my interest in New Age culture and metaphysics, I have always explored the meaning of numbers and names. Is it a coincidence that people with the same name can be drawn to each other in the same way as people with the same sun sign? It’s not to say that everyone born under the sign of Capricorn will get along any more than people with the same name will. In fact, I often butt heads with other Capricorns and my interaction with other people with the same first name is hit or miss.

As I name my characters, I think about how the name will represent them. For now, I rely on names that conjure certain strong positive feelings or carry a strong value within the spelling of the name. For instance, Jacob, the hero in my current work in progress, carries a strong Biblical name. Justin, the character from my published novel, carries the value or idea of being just in his name. I picked the name Kara for another character because she was an emotional person who deeply cares about those around her.

Finding the meaning of names is not hard given the fact that we are entrenched in the information age. The name’s meaning may not be enough in defining your character. You may also have to think about the name’s origin. For example, several sources list the name Laura as having Spanish and English origin. Some of the other associations are the laurel leaf and the laurel tree. According to meaning-of-names.com, Laura means in English culture, honor and victory which is symbolized by the sweet bay tree or the laurel tree.

When branding your character with a name, instead of pulling a name out of thin air or basing your choice on your favorite names, think about its origins and its meaning. How your audience perceives and ultimately connects with your book and its characters may depend on it.

              On any given day, my creative side is at war with my analytical side. Well, last week, my creative side won. I was at a metaphysical/new age bookstore. ( I love the metaphysical and New Age concepts) I had just had a facial and was in the neighborhood of an the bookstore that I use to frequent often when I lived in the area. I walked in with every intention of getting a tarot reading depending on who was on duty. Instead of wanting a prediction, I was seeking insight on things that have already happened or were in progress.
           What I enjoyed most about this reading wasn’t the predictions. It was what happened between the predictions. We talked about our life perceptions. We talked about how changing our behaviors and our thoughts adjusts how we perceive the events in our lives. Surely, I didn’t have to seek a conversation with a medium or a psychic to reach these conclusions but it’s nice to talk to someone who doesn’t  know you but can relate to you solely based on intuition, perception and body language. It was very interesting to experience.

In the culture of “YOU”, who are you when no one’s looking? I had a friend once tell me how she doesn’t like to be alone. Having lived the majority of my life alone, I really couldn’t understand it. As we talked she explained that when you are alone you are forced to be genuinely yourself. There’s no one to impress, no comparisons to make and your thoughts are the only ones you hear.

This could be a good thing or a bad thing. If you know yourself and like what you see then it can be a very good thing. That is, until it is time to grow. You can’t grow without experience and interaction with others. You never know what you are truly made of until you are put into a situation with others. Conflict and challenges are a true test of who you are.

Who we are with others is rarely the same as who we are alone. There are certain people who know you at the core because they’ve lived with you for a long time or have been made prevy to the life-altering, character-defining events in your life. But no one knows all there is to know about us, often not even ourselves.