In Suchada Kailey’s multicultural romantic fiction novel Blind by Choice, Kailey introduces us to Steve Menger, a successful, confident American engineer in his thirties. Steve’s story begins when work takes him to Thailand. From his experiences with religion, social mores, cuisine, language and dating Thai women, we learn that Steve is very embracing of cultures different from his own due to his willingness to explore all things Thai. Through Steve’s experiences with Thai women of all temperaments both in Thailand and when he returns to America, Kailey allows the reader to view the Thai’s perception of America and the value that is placed on eligible American partners in the Thai community.

As Kailey describes the meddlesome older women, the desperate girls looking for someone to take care of them and every woman in between, we learn no type of woman is specific to any one culture. Whether it is the ideals of a close-knit family, an upstanding reputation, hard work, education, tradition, or the attraction of a better life, Steve learns that there are more motivations underlining a multicultural relationship than an agreeable nature, physical attraction and intellectual stimulation.

By the book’s end, Steve’s disappointment after two failed relationships with Thai women teaches him that his generalization of an entire culture of women who may exhibit desirable characteristics he found lacking in Western woman do not guarantee to bring him his happily ever after.

While Steve was a decent man, I didn’t find him particularly desirable. While I had reasonable images of what the Thai people looked like from his first girlfriend Noi to his wife Tina and all the dates in between, Steve remained a gray flannel suit with strong desires and opinions but no face. The Thai customs, cuisine and mannerisms were the most enjoyable.

I give Suchada Kailey’s Blind by Choice three Sable Seals.

Format Reviewed: Ebook

Publisher: Unlimited Publishing, LLC

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Devilish erotic delights overtake boring community college Professor Rick Michelson in Jaxx Steele’s short story The Devil Made Me Do It. Rick has been in an interracial relationship with Terry, a small African American hard bodied male bartender with pleasure on his mind for seven years.

Rick is conservative and straight-laced while Terry has a lusty fire within. One evening has Rick awaits the return of his lover, the devil referred to as Lou, visits him with a demand. Submit to note-guided sexual obstacle course for my entertainment and the enjoyment of my friends put Terry and your school in danger with your refusal. Rick succumbs and his is pushed to his sexual limits.

While the homosexual sex sequences were erotic even for a heterosexual female like myself, I found some of the dialogue between Terry and Rick to be flat. I also felt their roles played into the stereotypes of effeminate and masculine gender roles. Rick was prideful and masculine while Terry was feminine and sexually charged.

With the nearly 50 page story ending with Rick wondering if all of his sexual escapades of the previous night were just a dream, I felt a little let down. However, the experience did leave the reader knowing that Rick had finally loosened his restraint. With that Jaxx Steele’s The Devil Made Me Do It, earned 3 out of 5 Sable Seals.

Ebook

Red Rose Publishing

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In Catch Me, If You Can, told through a series of flashbacks, Brenna Lyons tells the story of how New Yorker Angelo Maretti copes with his twin sister Angelena’s rape and murder plus the threat to his own life. As Angelo and his companion and love interest Marissa Rizzulo attempt to stay one step ahead of Enrique Ortega, the man responsible for his family’s heartache, an elaborate vengeful plan to have the Ortega culprits meet their demise without a connection to the Maretti and Rizzulo families is triggered by Angelo’s male family members.

With dialogue that resembles any mobster flick the Orgeta, Rizzulo and Maretti families are easily interchangeable.  In the stories brief 58 pages, Lyons does manage to draw the reader toward caring what happens to Angelo and Marissa as they attempt to heal hurts with their love. Unfortunately, the flashbacks are dizzying and the reasoning behind Angelena’s assault and murder are never truly explained. Nor is it clear why Angelo becomes the target despite the lack of direct retaliation.

As a result, Brenna Lyons short story Catch Me, If You Can earns 2 Sable Seals.

Format Reviewed: Ebook

Publisher: Under the Moon

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courtesy of the vanilla guerilla

One of the exciting things about being a writer is the fact that you never know where your next story will come from. We’ve discussed repeated about how much I love magazines. Well I was reading Success magazine tonight and came across a story about TheKnot.com.

Being single, I generally skip over wedding related articles, but since I recently wrote 19 pages of wedding content for a bridal shop in Colorado, I am a little less adverse to reading on the topic. (At the moment anyway!)

This article wasn’t about getting married. The company The Knot and it’s website was being featured in the January’s Success monthly column called “From the Corner Office”.

I’ve been to TheKnot.com before, when a former co-worker was showing me a dress she was considering for her wedding. What I didn’t know about this website before reading this article was the fact that it was started as a result of a multicultural need. The owners, Carley Roney and David Liu were having trouble finding information geared toward their needs. They are an interracial couple and the bridal resources on the market were not geared toward this demographic.

What was even more interesting was the fact that the bridal resources available played to the stereotype that only women were interesting in wedding resources. Liu, being an active groom, was a shining example of another member of a demographic not being served in the wedding industry.

The Knot.com is now more than an online wedding resource. According to Success, it garners 100 million page views a month and earned nearly $104 million dollars in 2008.

Liu and Roney have continued to serve the under-served cultural niche. This niche includes resources for same-sex couples, newlyweds, expecting parents, blended families, and other wedding situations that include real people living real lives. Pregnant brides, divorced parents and second marriages are all topics that require attention that many traditional wedding resources pretend don’t exist.

TheKnot.com has found a way to be success by fulfilling a need and providing resources to our ever-changing relationship culture.

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I’ve mentioned before that I am a little magazine obsessed. I love books too, but there is just something about a good magazine that I just love. When I want to get a quick info fix filled with interesting insights, pictures, and stats, a magazine really satisfies. ( Yes, like a Snickers bar).

The subject of this post was spurred by a small magazine filler from this month’s issue of Women’s Health magazine. The filler is entitled, “Pretty Words” reminds us that words are not just words.

According to the article which sites a study in the journal Psychological Science where study participants were hooked up to a machine to measure the activity of the facial muscles we use when we smile or frown. The participants facial reactions were recorded when they were asked to read a series of emotion verbs such as frown, cry, laugh etc. The result was that happy verbs caused a response in the subjects’ smile muscles while the sad ones activated the frown muscles’ response.

As writers and those who love to read already know, language does physically resonate with us and it makes an impression on how we feel, according to the study’s coauthor G. Sermin, Ph.D., of Utrecht University in the Netherlands.

As I think of the ways that we use words to elicit a response or to provoke action in others, for example, greeting cards, research studies, wedding invitations, letters of complaint, and too many other forms of word communication that too many to mention, it definitely weakens the idea that words are harmless. Words can console and they can also start arguments and even wars. It’s our words and our thoughts that lead to our positive or negative actions.

Words trigger memories and they lend to a variety of interpretations and connotations. How words are used and interpreted go far beyond the words meaning. Our own culture and environment also play a role. Put in this context, words do indeed become very powerful.

The next time you speak or write, know the power of your words.

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As I mentioned in a previous post, I am currently a freelance writer for a web development company. The company is growing and they hired a new guy to handle imaging for the websites they build.

In working there, I am learning a lot about family culture. One particular lesson occured under my nose and I almost missed it. A few of the fellows that work there decided to go across the street to grab lunch at a deli.  The deli is operated by a Korean family.  My co-workers often refer to the deli as “the Korean Cafe” and “The Koreans”. I never paid much attention to it until the “new guy” came back to the office after taking a trip to the deli. He made a interesting observation. “The place was nice and the food looked good, but its strange that they don’t sell Korean food there.”

While we might think twice about eating Asian food that’s not cooked byAsians unless there’s some special interest of the chef, why would we assume a restaurant owned by a member of a particular ethnic group would only serve food from their culture.

It actually reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry convinces Apoo to change his restaurant menu to Pakistani. Why would we assume that people would be so one-dimensional?

When I was working in education, there was also a deli in the buiding that was run by an Asian couple. It never occured to me or anyone else during the three years I worked there that the deli should have been serving Asian food.

Business offer their goods and services based on what the location will bear. It probably made more sense to the couple who owns the deli to offer a more basic deli menu to appeal to a corporate complex.

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Click here to view the embedded video.

I’ve been looking forward to seeing this movie ever since I first heard about it. Chris Rock is a big reason why I wanted to see this movie but I also wanted to get his take on the subject matter. It is interesting to get a black man’s perspective on the lengths black women go to have a presentable and attractive head of hair. Hair is a major issue for all of us. Men and women both worry about how to keep their hair and how to keep it youthful.

In the movie, Rock explains that it was his young daughter’s lament over not having “good hair” that triggered his exploration into the concept. I can remember from a very early age being exposed to the concept of “good hair” and “bad hair”. Good hair is long, healthy, straight and easy to manage. In other words, good hair was Caucasian hair or Indian hair. Growing up in New Jersey until the age of nine, I definitely remember admiring the long flowing hair of my Caucasian, Puerto Rican and Indian classmates. Thanks to my mother’s natural talent and the use of a good relaxer, I had long, thick hair.

Like most documentaries, Rock takes his research on the road to North Carolina, Georgia, New York, California and India, to explore the black hair care industry.

From the Bronner Brothers Hair Convention in Atlanta to the Dudley Hair Manufacturing estate in North Carolina, Rock shows us the big business of hair. From weaves to the sodium hydroxide that makes up hair relaxers, Rock not only investigates what we do to our hair as black women but how that practice impacts the men in our lives and our pocketbooks. It was very entertaining to watch Rock go to the people in black beauty salons and barber shops to get the perspective on black women’s hair from everyday black people.

One of the most telling moments in the documentary was when Rock sat down with five young black women who were about to graduate from high school. All but one girl had relaxed hair or a weave. The remaining girl wore her hair in a natural afro. Rock asked them if they felt the need to keep up the weaves and relaxers to obtain favorable employment. All the girls except the one with the natural hair felt that someone with natural hair wouldn’t be taken seriously and would have a harder time finding work. They all agreed that the natural hair of the remaining girl was attractive but they didn’t think it was professional or would be accepted in the work environment. The idea that the natural state of our hair is unprofessional and not acceptable is a direct result of what black girls have been indoctrinated with since the time they were very little girls.

There were so many themes covered in this movie. Rock touches on how the majority of black hair care lines are owned and operated by white conglomerates and Asian entrepreneurs. The black hair care industry generates billions. We may be less than 25% of the U.S. population, but we account for 80% or more of the hair care products and services being bought and sold. In fact, one of the largest exports for India is real human hair weave. Rock travels to India to show us where the Indian hair extensions American women pay upward of $1000 for come from. In India, the people often sacrifice their hair in a religious ceremony. Hair is very valuable and that’s why they sacrifice it to God. It is that hair that is cut, cleaned, and sown on strands to be converted to tracks of hair to be sold and exported to the U.S.

I was only able to touch on a few of the themes Rock covered in his documentary Good Hair.  With interviews Rock had with the head of Dudley, Bronner Brothers, and actresses and actors like Ice T, Rev. Al Sharpton, Nia Long, Raven Symoné, Maya Angelou, and the lead singers from the ’80s girl rap group Salt and Pepa among others, it was amazing to see a cultural perspective that permeates throughout an entire ethnic race and it isn’t regional in terms of one side of North America to the other.  Whether you are a black woman in California or a black woman in New York City, the perspective on hair is the same.

Some reviewers mentioned that Rock offered no solutions. Personally, I think that as long as flowing long straight hair is considered the benchmark for attractiveness, many black women will continue to pay to achieve it. The perception isn’t restricted to women of the black community. These days, extensions are also seen among our white sisters. I think another factor deals with women’s (regardless of race) obsession to look like the stars they admire in Hollywood. Instead of being the best they can be, they often strive to be someone else. I think we forget that actors and actresses are performers regardless of whether they are on or off the set. So they are expected to look a certain way no matter what. Everyday women want Julia Roberts’ smile or Jennifer Aniston’s haircut. Once we embrace the characteristics that make us different and beautiful, many women will no longer see the need to spend, on an annual basis, the money equivalent to the price of a compact car on hair extensions and other services.

There were also jokes during the movie about being addicted to creamy crack, or hair relaxer. As a woman who has been relaxing my hair longer than I can remember, I would love to be able to kick the relaxer habit. But having used relaxer every two months for nearly 30 years, I’ve definitely seen my hair become less thick. It use to be a lion’s mane when I was growing up. It would be interesting to see what the result would be.

Chris Rock’s documentary Good Hair, may seem frivolous to some considering the challenging economic times we are in. But our perceptions of ourselves both on the inside and on the outside carry a lot of weight in other areas of our lives. So this exploration is a valid one in the hope that we can adopt more healthy perceptions about ourselves and what’s really important.

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I’ve mentioned before that I relish my independence. It may have to do with the fact that I am quiet, observant and guarded. Many associate these traits as weak or timid. I think it has more to do with my discomfort with vulnerability and maybe I just haven’t met that one person who you always want to be around.

It seemed to me there was a time in society where people valued independence. They enjoyed making a way for themselves. Lately, it seems, many people don’t like to be alone at all. They move from their parents’ house to a living space with friends or their significant other of the moment. I’ve even heard of people having children to prevent themselves from a lonely existence. I mentioned to a friend with social phobias that I overcame feeling awkward in public by eating out alone or going to the movies alone. Another friend cringed stating that he didn’t want to be considered “a loser.” I think having all your experiences wrapped up in who is with you is very limiting. You’ll never know who you’ll meet or what experienced you could have when you’re alone. It gives you the opportunity to witness what’s around you because you’re not so caught up in who you’re with.

Sometimes I can understand why one would avoid being alone. I know that feeling of unimportance or invisibility because there’s no one depending on you or looking forward to you coming home. I’m often reminded by those in relationships or those who are still close to their parents’ nest, that my existence must be less than because I’m not responsible to anyone but myself and no one relies on me.

Now those who live alone are a source of curiosity for others. This strong desire to couple up or group up regarding a living space could simply be a means to save as economic security is still uncertain for many. Or it could be the avoidance of truly getting to know the most important person in our lives; ourselves.

As a matter of fact, those who don’t live with others are often viewed as selfish because there’s no compromise or sharing of decisions and control. But I think they may be the most strong, because there’s no one else to blame or rely on for your troubles or your failures. You are the architect and the construction worker of your own life both in public and in private.

Shear independence may not be for everyone but I think that everyone should try it just once. It makes the times you share with others more valuable and it causes you to really be responsible for your choices, because if your life isn’t how you’d like it or how you imagined it, the only person preventing change is you.

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An experience I had while in New York in April made me think of the irony of adulthood and class.

For myself, I thrive on my independence. Most things I would rather do myself. The some members of poorest of classes often find it difficult to accept help or charity. I don’t know how many rags to riches stories I’ve heard where the person making that leap talks about how hard they struggled and no matter how difficult it got, he or she never accepted government assistance.

I’ve heard this several of times from men with siblings who were raised by a single parent. They are awe-struck with how a single parent with little or no education managed to raise multiple children without seeking welfare or other forms of government assistance. It speaks of that ability make your own way and work hard to make things better.

The irony showed itself to me when I was at a high-class Italian restaurant. Every little thing was done for me. Even my napkin was placed on my lap and intricate details of the menu were explained. If any of the waite staff noticed my attempt at getting up they rushed over to pull out my chair and refolded my napkin in my absence.

I find it interesting that those who start with nothing work hard to be able to do things for themselves…provide an existence for themselves. While those with the means, seek to have others do things for them. It may have something to do with the work required to attain that status, but those of us not quite there yet, look for money to provide us the opportunity to do more…not less.

Which option is best probably depends on preference. If you’ve worked hard for a real long time you would enjoy others taking care of you, but if you have never taken care of yourself, having others do it conjures up feelings of helplessness rather than accomplishment.

It goes to show most things require the context in which it occurs before a fair analysis can take place.

If you had the means, would you pay someone to tend to your every need or would you still actively participate in the running of your life?

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Every school year growing up, I can remember the bulletin board my teachers would dedicate to the monthly calendar. It would be decorated to represent that month’s holidays or seasons. There would be the summer sun for June since school lasted well into the month of June on the East coast back then. Months with popular holidays like Christmas, Presidents’ Day, Thanksgiving, Halloween and Valentine’s Day symbolized the winter months.

Nowadays every month can make a political, cultural or philanthropic statement. Monthly themes have gone beyond Black History or Hispanic Heritage months. There’s even a govenment website with a page dedicated to all the causes that earn awareness each month. Some last a week others last all month. I was certainly out of the loop on most of them.

In case you were wondering the link is at citizencorps.org. The abbreviated list of causes and holidays are as follows:

June

• Flag Day
• National Safety Month
• Home Safety Month

July

• Independence Day
• National Parents’ Day

August

• Water Conservation
• Annual National Night Out

September

• Labor Day
• National Assisted Living Week
• National Hispanic Heritage Month (Sept 15-Oct 15)
• Citizenship Day
• Deaf Awareness Week

October

• Diversity Awareness Month
• National Cyber Security Month
• National Crime Prevention Month
• Fire Prevention Week
• National Red Ribbon Week
• School Bus Safety Week

November

• Thanksgiving
• Veterans Day
• National American Indian Heritage Month

December

• International Day of Disabled Persons
• Christmas
• Kwanzaa
• Hannukah
• Winter Storm Awareness

January

• National Volunteer Blood Donor Month
• National Mentoring Month
• New Year’s Day
• MLK Day

February

• Black History Month
• National Burn Awareness Week
• Valentine’s Day
• President’s Day

March

• The Great American Clean-up
• National Women’s History Month
• National Poison Prevention Week
• Flood Safety Awareness Week

April

• National 9-1-1 Education Month
• National Financial Literacy Month
• National Volunteer Week
• National Infant Immunization Week

May

• American Stroke Month
• Mental Health Month
• National Older Americans Month

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