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The events of Thursday, June 25th 2009 are probably not lost on anyone with a television, an Internet connection or a cell phone with texting capabilities.  Like most people, I was working when I heard the news of Farrah Fawcett’s death. When my co-worker mentioned it while looking at a news website while eating his lunch my initial reaction was “na-uh!” (yes, I know very eloquent!) I felt a moment of sadness and nostalgia before returning to my routine. I had watched the majority of Fawcett’s documentary and knew that she’d been fighting cancer. While I thought her courageous for surviving the battle as long as she did, I figured at least she wouldn’t be suffering anymore.

A few hours later when I heard that Michael Jackson had suddenly died of cardiac arrest, I was saddened and shocked. It’s a feeling that still persists even now as I write this.

A fan said it best, when it was quoted that “…Michael Jackson’s passing is like a piece of my childhood dying with him.”

I hadn’t posted sooner about Michael’s death because it is still so hard to believe. Someone at work made a snarky comment like, “you actually like Michael Jackson?” All I could say was, that I know he was very screwed up but the days of Thiller were the best ever in terms of music.” I didn’t like what he’d become in recent years, kind of a caricature of his former self, but it never changed the value of his music.

It’s funny how we are not allowed to be flawed. I find myself constantly trying to correct my flaws, hide them and even search for those who will love me in spite of them. In the end, I think that’s what Michael wanted too.

As I sat this weekend watching all the coverage…the biographies…the music video tributes…the speculation over his death and his life, I wondered what made him the way he was. It could have been loneliness or baggage from a very unique, challenging and rewarding childhood, (there’s definitely irony in that sentence…) but only he truly knows. His transformation or metamorphosis as some like to call it definitely added to the mystique that is Michael Jackson. We don’t know what he saw when he looked in the mirror or why he wanted to change it, but it leads me to wonder how as a society we come to mourn someone we don’t really know…

I’m a constant thinker… in fact thinking often keeps me up at night. And what I came up with almost as quickly as I asked the question is that we mourn the loss of a person’s contributions when they die. Someone like Michael Jackson or Princess Diana for instance are known for the contributions they made to society. Whether it’s philanthropy or entertainment, it has value and it is the loss of that contribution and the admiration for the people who share such great talents with us that makes us sad when they pass. We know people for the contributions they make, whether they are celebrities or not. If it is a positive contribution then there’s a bond of abstract friendship or kinship. We may not know someone like Michael Jackson personally but we know the talent and the contributions he’s made that has inspired others to chase their dreams and taking command of their lives. We even know the benefit of someone’s generosity even if that generosity isn’t bestowed on us directly. (Think : We Are the World).

Michael Jackson will now go the the place where all great unique talents go. Like Elvis, Janis, Jimmy, Marilyn, Marvyn and Diana, Michael  will live on in the contributions his talents have made to modern culture for many generations to come.

I’m not sure what memory has to do with culture other than what we choose to remember and what memories we choose to keep says a lot about who we are. Just like the clothes we wear or the mindsets we keep, culture has is complex and multifaceted.

Lately, I was thinking about how we learn. Some of us learn through repetition. Others can read something once and remember what they read forever.

Growing up I was in a part of a group called Missionettes. It was like religious girl scouts. A girls program sponsored by the Assemblies of God church.

We memorized Bible scripture, mission statements and tenants. I remember when one of the steps which was based on four women of the Bible (Susanna, Tabitha, Anna and Ruth) required me to memorize the entire chapter of 1st Corinthians 13.

I learned during my two years in that program that I took to memorization visually. I would write out every verse of that chapter and repeat it outloud erasing words at different intervals. Until I was looking at a paper with nothing but dashes where words use to be. Eventually,  I could recite the entire chapter which consisted of 13 verses without the paper because I could visualize it in my head.

I’m not sure what I learned about love the basis of 1Corinthians 13 but I did learn a lot about the process of learning. While I couldn’t recite the chapter now, whenever mentions words from it without referencing the orign, I always recognize it.

Whether you have a photographic memory or remember through repetition, what does the culture of memory and learning mean to you?

An experience I had while in New York in April made me think of the irony of adulthood and class.

For myself, I thrive on my independence. Most things I would rather do myself. The some members of poorest of classes often find it difficult to accept help or charity. I don’t know how many rags to riches stories I’ve heard where the person making that leap talks about how hard they struggled and no matter how difficult it got, he or she never accepted government assistance.

I’ve heard this several of times from men with siblings who were raised by a single parent. They are awe-struck with how a single parent with little or no education managed to raise multiple children without seeking welfare or other forms of government assistance. It speaks of that ability make your own way and work hard to make things better.

The irony showed itself to me when I was at a high-class Italian restaurant. Every little thing was done for me. Even my napkin was placed on my lap and intricate details of the menu were explained. If any of the waite staff noticed my attempt at getting up they rushed over to pull out my chair and refolded my napkin in my absence.

I find it interesting that those who start with nothing work hard to be able to do things for themselves…provide an existence for themselves. While those with the means, seek to have others do things for them. It may have something to do with the work required to attain that status, but those of us not quite there yet, look for money to provide us the opportunity to do more…not less.

Which option is best probably depends on preference. If you’ve worked hard for a real long time you would enjoy others taking care of you, but if you have never taken care of yourself, having others do it conjures up feelings of helplessness rather than accomplishment.

It goes to show most things require the context in which it occurs before a fair analysis can take place.

If you had the means, would you pay someone to tend to your every need or would you still actively participate in the running of your life?

Title: AAMBC National Meeting
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Description: Join your favorite authors at the African Americans on the Move Book Club in San Antonio, Texas where authors and readers are brought together to experience southern hospitality and build relationships around their favorite books.
Start Date: 2009-06-13
End Date: 2009-06-14

In By the Moonlight by Jaxx Steele, sexy vampires Jared and Byron have been friends for centuries. When Byron catches up with Jared at his favorite flesh bar, the reader senses right away that the only flesh Bryon wants to see is Jared’s. Jared is a hetero vampire who believes that blood tastes the sweetest after riding the waves of passion. His ritual is to scope out a female, dominate her with his prowess and drink from her phermone enriched blood.

For Bryon, fleshlust and bloodlust go hand and hand as well, but he feels no experience can top that which can be shared between two lovers with the same parts.

Having been friends for so long, Byron and Jared can read eachother’s minds and sense each other’s lust. As the reader continues on Jared’s journey it becomes obvious that despite his dark vampire needs, Jared is very vanilla. It’s time for Byron to add a little chocolate as he invades his mind during one of Jared’s conquests. That one evening, sparks Jared’s curiosity which begins the dabbling into a new world of not only variable sex positions for heteros but voyeurism as well as male on male sex.

In the end, Jaxx has penned a sensual love story of desire and experimentation. I liked the idea of vampires and their telepathic thoughts. By the Moonlight earns three out of five Sable Seals.

Publisher: Dreamspinner Press

Every school year growing up, I can remember the bulletin board my teachers would dedicate to the monthly calendar. It would be decorated to represent that month’s holidays or seasons. There would be the summer sun for June since school lasted well into the month of June on the East coast back then. Months with popular holidays like Christmas, Presidents’ Day, Thanksgiving, Halloween and Valentine’s Day symbolized the winter months.

Nowadays every month can make a political, cultural or philanthropic statement. Monthly themes have gone beyond Black History or Hispanic Heritage months. There’s even a govenment website with a page dedicated to all the causes that earn awareness each month. Some last a week others last all month. I was certainly out of the loop on most of them.

In case you were wondering the link is at citizencorps.org. The abbreviated list of causes and holidays are as follows:

June

• Flag Day
• National Safety Month
• Home Safety Month

July

• Independence Day
• National Parents’ Day

August

• Water Conservation
• Annual National Night Out

September

• Labor Day
• National Assisted Living Week
• National Hispanic Heritage Month (Sept 15-Oct 15)
• Citizenship Day
• Deaf Awareness Week

October

• Diversity Awareness Month
• National Cyber Security Month
• National Crime Prevention Month
• Fire Prevention Week
• National Red Ribbon Week
• School Bus Safety Week

November

• Thanksgiving
• Veterans Day
• National American Indian Heritage Month

December

• International Day of Disabled Persons
• Christmas
• Kwanzaa
• Hannukah
• Winter Storm Awareness

January

• National Volunteer Blood Donor Month
• National Mentoring Month
• New Year’s Day
• MLK Day

February

• Black History Month
• National Burn Awareness Week
• Valentine’s Day
• President’s Day

March

• The Great American Clean-up
• National Women’s History Month
• National Poison Prevention Week
• Flood Safety Awareness Week

April

• National 9-1-1 Education Month
• National Financial Literacy Month
• National Volunteer Week
• National Infant Immunization Week

May

• American Stroke Month
• Mental Health Month
• National Older Americans Month

Courtesy of Bleu Diamond Phillips

I don’t usually write about dating websites, but a commercial from eHarmony.com completely caught me off-guard. If you watch television, you know very well the testimonial based commercials of this online dating matchmaker.

Generally, they show a man and a woman who met via the website and are now happily married, engaged or dating. The message is clear; matches are based on compatibility, not racy photos or the potential for one-night stands. I’ve always noticed how their couples were generally the same race (if race could be determined) and economic class. For example, one commercial features two artist small business owners who were matched by the service. 

This commercial was different. While little to know emphasis was directed to the socio-economic class of the individuals being matched, the commercial did stress the fact that all matches are based on compatibility. How is this different than past commercials? The testimonial couple was interracial. It consisted of an African American female and a Caucasian male. Most striking is the fact that the female was dark-skinned. Often interracial relationships depicted in the media involve lighter-skinned African Americans or bi-racial individuals. There was no mistaking the origin of the female member of this couple. She was beautiful and enchanting and her Caucasian mate was obviously enamored of her.

However, I did notice that he referenced her as “this crazy beautiful lady”. I often wonder, what are the social connotations for “crazy” in White society? Among African Americans, depending on the context, it often means someone who is witty, sarcastic and humorous. Of course, the term is used in a literal sense as well.
The “crazy” reference aside, this online matchmaker definitely wanted to drive home that compatibility has little to do with skin color.

A married couple struggling to maintain their connection and start a family recapture the perfection of young love in Veronica Blaque’s short story, Doppelganger. Though the story starts a little rough, but Blaque tells the story of a middle-aged woman tormented by her ticking biological clock, the strain of her marriage and a sexy stranger who keeps crossing her path at work.

The mystery colleague seems unusually familiar and acts as the catalyst that ignites the woman’s desire for her husband. Over the next several days, while the couple re-enacts the early days of their relationship, the woman starts to find her muse in the strangest of places, making the woman recognize the value of her relationship and the future they are struggling to move toward together.

I really enjoyed the symbolism in this story and the love scenes were hot without being crude. Veronica Blaque’s Doppelganger earns four out of five Sable Seals.

Publisher: Wicked Women of Color

The two main female characters in Dorothy Phaire’s Murder and the Masquerade learn that unconditional love first develops from within. Psychologist Reneé Hayes is not only caught in a loveless relationship with her husband, she’s in a loveless relationship with herself. Striving not only to find love, she struggles to find someone to whom she can bestow her love and energy. As a result, she throws herself into helping others while secretly doubting her ability to do so. A break-in at her home brings her in contact with the depths of her problems and a new object of her affection, a younger Detective Degas Hamilton. 

The other main female character, Veda Sims, an office manager for a law firm has lost her dignity and self-respect in her attempts to hold onto the affections of her lover, LaMarr Coleman, a lawyer at her firm and the man whose love she valued more than her marriage, her daughter or even herself. Her obsession with LaMarr brings Veda to the brink of self-destruction and to Dr. Hayes’ couch. The women’s professional connection turns dangerous as Veda fails to see who LaMarr really is and what he’s capable of.

Reneé and Veda’s desire to love and be loved lead them to re-examine their choices and the influences in their lives. While the women’s transformation is nowhere near complete the reader gets the sense that things are now moving in the right direction. For this journey, I give Murder and the Masquerade four out of five Sable Seals.

Publisher: iUniverse

 Price: $18.95